A week and a day away

Goooood Morning Loves!!!

I cannot tell you how grateful we are to be at this point. Andy and I are apart right now. I'm away shopping for our house and the wedding. I also had some business to take care of up here. So I had to take leave at a critical time.

And Anderson has done a tremendous job of keeping our plans in check. Sure we got frustrated. We are still finalising guests. People have taken ill, been involved in accidents. Some of our friends are unable to attend because of work commitments, their employers refuse to give them the time. Sad huh? Jealousy is a helluva thing.

And emotions have run the gamut. But we are so blessed. Andy's mum is making and decorating our cake. I got a really cute topper for it. I found my veil and a hair accessory to make a real statement. As you know I said yes to the dress. Got my shoes at a STEAL!! I wanted a pair of Badgley Mischka's but.... These shoes are soooo much prettier and more comfortable. Pricepoint? Affordable.com. 

BUT, still no wedding day panties HELP!! Spanx? Bloomers? Girdle? Boyshorts? Help muh nuh? I aino wha tuh put on!!

Fears:

Rain on wedding day

Tripping down the aisle

Ratchetness

People watching me 

Me and Andy kissing for the first time and bumping noses (sooooo embarassing)

Fainting

Feeling Fat

Menstruating - gross but with stress anything can happen please pray for me!!!

Not resting enough, i've been extremely tired the last few days! 

Being a good, humble, loving, honest wife.

I'm going to be somebody's wife. That's huge. My family up here is so excited. And I finally caught the bug. God and us want this marriage, we're happy and blessed. And through all the strange occurrences and few mishaps, this process has been abundantly blessed.

Advice?

Trust and love your partner.

Have faith and pray to God for wisdom.

Be romantical (Anderson is!!!) 

Get positive and negative feedback.

Do NOT divulge major plans to anyone but yo mama

and yo mans! 

People often pretend to be happy for you, when often times they are jealous. Beware!

Go for counselling.

Stay sane! 

We love and appreciate every one of you!!

Xoxo

Heidi and Anderson

See you next week... When the day is finally here!!!

Mr. & Mrs. Anderson Bowen - to - be

Everything about You...

This one is for Andy.

I am honoured, grateful, blessed and so happy that you chose me.

When we met, I promise you, it NEVER crossed my mind that we had even a prayer of being together. My radar was probably down at the time. But God had it all planned.

You're who I prayed for. You are the kindest, most generous, loving person. Your warmth and genuine love for people draws them to you. You are the heart of your home. I love to watch you with your friends, there's something so special about the love you have for them.  They truly are your family, you made it so.

Your love for God is beautiful, and authentic. Real.  Your dedication to your witness and ministry is what showed me that you were covered, chosen. Your service and commitment, that's what I want to be in my own.

I was strong willed, blunt and impatient. But sweet and vulnerable, so you said. And you saw through all of that mess. Your calm, peaceful spirit, rested with mine, and through Him, I am developing those same traits. No one is perfect.

You are the second thing I think about in the morning (Him first) and the first one I pray for at night. My life without you is unimaginable, but knowing you has blessed and enriched it beyond anything I ever expected or hoped for. Our love keeps me sane, happy, grounded. Everything about you is right. Most days... lol

This wedding, all of these plans it's all for us to enjoy one of THE best days we will ever have REGARDLESS of what happens, who's there, who's not.  But mostly, I'm doing it for you. You take care of me and have been from day one. Without being asked, without hesitation, without a deep breath. Of course not without frustration, I AM Heidi after all. Now it's time for me to take care of something, with just a little help from you.

There is no doubt in my mind, that He is at the head of this life we're enjoying. And with all of the prayers, love and blessings from our God, we are a success story, and we will continue to be. I am so proud of us, and so excited for our future. You make it all worth it. I love you.

Always,
Heidi.

Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr.. The Social Media Saga

Goood Morning!

I'm trying to keep up family!

It's not that I don't have anything to write about, it is that I'm trying to find the time.

So update:

It's gift list time!! Any suggestions on what we should get? When Dad died he left a house full of things, so all we need really are appliances and sheets etc. Still we want our own household items. But if there is ANYTHING you can think of that we might need that you had/ didn't get that you wished you had SHARE PLEASE!! I can tell you we are looking at Cave Shepherd/Sheperd (spell it wrong all the time), and Dwellings. Any other suggestions? Except Walker's World.

So the title may intrigue/confuse you. But this is something that I have been grappling with for the last few months. We have spoken about it briefly, Andy and I but as he was bringing me home last night I 1) realised I'm about to be a dude's wife, and 2) do we want to share that very intimate, private moment with the world?  you tend to forget things of this nature with big events like weddings.

Should we or shouldn't we allow people to upload photos from our wedding instantaneously. Andy had a friend who got married just at the beginning of the Facebook phenomenon. And in their invitations or on the programmes or somewhere they indicated that they did NOT want any photos uploaded.

Has social media caused us to over share? 

Given my status on Facebook and Instagram etc, I am inclined to say that I understand that move. Somethings are private. And the couple should be allowed to release their photos on their own terms. And I am leaning towards that too. Not just for privacy's sake, but also because we really want to share the memories with you all when we are ready.

I don't mind things like this, but Bajans and people on a whole rip your events to shreds when they get a glimpse of what you did! 

So what is your take on the social media thing? Should we tell our guests to leave it out til we give the go ahead? Or are you interested in a #aboabbowenwedding trend on the Internet??

Do we really want images like this traversing the highways and byways of social media?

Thoughts??

Wedding Success, Marriage Fail... NOT HAPPENING

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!

MIA doesn't begin to describe! But thanks for staying tuned and asking, when is the next blog coming out?? Keeps me on my toes.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I CANNOT!

People are something else, just yesterday this lady asked me why I was wearing a ring. I told her, cause it was given to me. Of COURSE as GIPSY BAJANS do, she asked if I was engaged, I smiled and said yes. My girl launches into a tirade, well ya knowww I had Donovan (let's cover the poor man's identity, shall we) for ova ten years, he is do he ting, I is do mine. But ya betta live wid de man before ya married. You is a young girl and men aint easy. Dem is mek ya snort... I could tell you stories... blah blah blah.

We believe life is what you make it! 

I tuned out and moved on to the next customer, first of all she had me bored, den she hit me for six wid 'men does mek ya snort'. Andy and I allllways have this discussion. The latest thing when people meet us is they tell me, youuuuu he marrieding to you, wha he is a good looking fella. You betta try and treat he real good, not he gine leff ya. But wait, do we not have equal capacity to leave/be left? Furthermore who enters a marriage with the constant thought of divorce?

And here is why we believe that most marriages fail. A lack of Commitment. But ting, we had we one anudda seven (7) years though. Plus, we've been to hell, through purgatory and back, short of killing one another, we strive for harmony, and while we have our disagreements and occasional spats, ain't nobody got time for the negativity!!

And with God on our side, we cannot fail!

Hence, our focus on our MARRIAGE! WE want to ensure that after the money don spend, food done eat, gifts done buy and dese people gone home that ANDERSON M and HEIDI R are going to make a go of it SUCCESSFULLY. That our lives will mirror Christ' love and that we will ENJOY, yes dare I say be happy for the balance of our lives together. That is our firm commitment. And you can hold us to it, (me especially check Andy's never coming blog to be sure, yes I'm calling you out!)

Life and death is in the power of the tongue people. Stop declaring doom over our marriage 'fore it even start!

It's in the Holy Bible!

Happy talk now, rant done:

Hear dis. Invitations look tooooooo sweet! And nuff fancy tings included. Of coursely after wedding done we will share a few of our features. But as I'm putting alot into the blogosphere we still want to maintain a few secrets and surprises.

Suddenly, I'm getting nuff nuff kisses, and loving up from this man though, is that normal? Leading up to? If it is I sure hope it continues :D cause I like nuff lovin up :D  I mean I could've just awakened from a nap or whatever and this nutbag is kissing my face and stroking my hair. Mummy says he's been doing it since we got together, but I must be so fagged out, that I'm clueless. Sweet tho :)

I love him <3

How to:

Ammm about this housewife thing though. I mean, I don't plan on NOT working. But the washing, cooking, cleanting, grocery shopping ,bill paying. Lawdddddd havismercy. I need a day planner, P.A AND a nanny to keep me by the time I'm done. It's alot!

Stay sane during house repairs: Andy is uber excited. I on the other hand, will only care when decisions have to be made. I know nothing about construction, and I'm not interested either, sooooo sweetboy and mummy are on the case again. I can guarantee you that I will not be left out of curtain or bedspread selection, china or the Gift list. Cause Andy is VERY VERY VERY VERY PICKY. Like SUPER selective, and crazy when it comes to service soooooooooooooooooo, yea.

Lose weight before your wedding:

ZUMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, and Shawn the Tyrant T. SO Andy has us on this T-25 programme, chile. I didn't know I could sweat so much between my beloved Zumba and that psychopath? I am in constant muscleboundness. But I'm TRYING to eat better, and I work out super hard and I lost an inch and a half off my waist and other body parts, clothes are a wee bit loose and I can run up stairs without my oxygen tank (joke) Check out my sweet boy below all sweaty and flexin n stuff :D lololol.

We bout dis life!!

Sorry for the long one. Hope you enjoy!

Stay tuned, BIGGGGGGG surprise coming up in the next Edition of T-130 + days til We are Mr & Mrs Anderson M. Bowen :D :D :D :D :D :D

The gift of giving...

Lovebugs!!

I HAD to come at you with this one. It is big, HUGE, monumental. How good are you at ACCEPTING gifts?

I LOVE Christmas, birthdays, Easter, Independence, Crop Over, why don't we give gifts at Crop Over? Such fun :) You get me right? I love to give a gift. But I am not that great at receiving. Now a wise old owl once told me that, you should be just as comfortable receiving as giving, because there is a GREAT deal more humility involved in accepting something from someone. You may be unaware of their circumstance, financially or mentally, and whatever they give you whether they can afford it or not is a sacrifice and it takes a measure of generosity and love.

So, Andy and I have received offers from various family and extended family members to assist us with our Wedding,. A few of them in particular keep mentioning the 'harsh economic times' and their willingness to help us with paying for our home and the wedding itself. Cue the pride. Which as we ALL know goes before a fall. And we both find falling quite embarassing, soooooooooooooooo.

Anderson Bowen and Heidi Aboab, don't do receiving very well. It is not that we are arrogant, or puffed up ( although I lean to the arrogance every once in a while, I'm a work in progress). It is that we generally like to work for what we want or need, always have, and we are so used to being independent and taking care of ourselves, that accepting help from anyone but each other or our immediate families (mostly parents) is a foreign concept. And sometimes a little difficult, since we know we have to work for what we want.

We HATE using people. Have zero tolerance for begging, and we try very hard to stay within our means. Our sensitivity towards the subject is so great, that during our frequent car chats, we express how uncomfortable we are when friends pay for dinner, offer to bring things to a lime, family gives us cash or want to give us a thank you gift for something we have done.

BUT, weddings tend to make you a bit humble. At SOME point, you realise that you CANNOT do it all on your own. That people are just as excited for you as you were for them at this point in their lives. That your family and friends are ACUTELY aware that at times because you are sacrificing for your big day that you simply CANNOT out the money for a fun night out, movie, food. Because at $$$ a plate + drinks + VAT, you need to cut back somewhere.

Anderson and I declared our hand early. We are paying for our wedding and honeymoon ourselves, but we know that our friends and families will want to give us gifts. And we graciously and humbly accept. It is about give and take. If you know us, you know we are generous and at times OVERLY generous. Giving of our time, advice, money, in kind. God has blessed and favoured us by meeting all of our needs. We are secure knowing that He has already provided. And part of that means understanding when he has sent one of his angels to bless us, just like we blessed others.

I hope you understand what I mean. Of COURSE we want wedding gifts, that adds to the excitement and fun of the wedding experience, but we also want our family and friends to know that we are SO SO SO SO grateful. That you do not HAVE to do it, but we are APPRECIATIVE and thankful for everything that you do for us now, on wedding day and beyond.
We love you!

We are grateful!!

xoxo,
Anderson & Heidi.

Open the Lines

Gooood MORNING!!

Both Andy and I have been soooo busy!! I recently started a job (weddings don't pay for themselves guys :) And Andy has been working hard for the entire year. Between Moden Makeup by Heidi, my new job, home, church and our relationship, I was barely keeping up.

I am SOOOOOO sorry I didn't update you all but to everyone who asks in person, emails, Whatsapp's or keeps us in prayer THANK YOU!! We appreciate the feedback and the love.

Did the title catch you? Well I hope it did and whether you are married or single this one is for you.

So with the kind permission of my beloved fiance' we are going to discuss Premarital Counselling. Now for some people this practice is a formality, for others a necessity and a select few it is both. About three years before we got engaged, Andy actually asked me if I would be interested in preengagement counselling sessions. I was waaaay too excited boy! He could've asked me then and there and I would have said YAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS. But we never pursued it, so when we got engaged last year we decided that we needed to go to counselling for a number of reasons.

Guess who's coming to the end of their sessions and with GREAT SUCCESS. US!! And the main reason is, WE COMMUNICATE! Without going into too much detail we wanted to share why counselling is so important to us, and why we are now even bigger advocates for any engaged couple to actively participate in a series of sessions.

1. The Wedding is just one day. You have to live with this person for the rest of your life. That should be reason enough for you to run to anyone who is qualified and willing to listen!

Funny, but so true.

2. You value your relationship. Hopefully (we've been together 6 years, by the time we are married it would be our 7th) you would have invested, sacrificed, endured, enjoyed so much that you want to protect your investment, nurture your love and really get in the habit of dealing with the challenges of this new phase.

Channel your energies into your future.

3. You are willing to commit to discussing and solving any issues you may have as individuals and as a couple. You are two very different people with different stories, Rome wasn't built in a day, and you have to be secure in you and him/her so that your relationship develops as you BOTH intend it to.

Indeed.

4. It works either way. The counselling sessions reveal so much about your personality, your desires and your needs that the openness creates a vulnerability that is UNREAL. And the important part is recognising the value of your love, because opening up yourself to people starts with TRUST, without that, you're goners.

Love.

So those are just a few of our reasons. After the first session I was in love with Andy all over again. He was grinning from ear to ear and we both felt a sense of calm and peace. We are committed fully to one another, focused, and armed with the knowledge that we need to take our relationship forward and enjoy a happy and prosperous marriage. We don't know everything, but we know some thangs ya'll :)

Thus, the planning and merriment can continue, of course we will have issues, but we hold onto the belief that with God before us, a FULL commitment to each other, the love and support of our families, we are ready for our life together. If you are planning on getting married, we HUMBLY suggest finding a minister of religion, a certified counselor, or someone who is equipped to deal with affairs of the heart, premarital counselling. Seek professional help and OPEN THOSE LINES OF COMMUNICATION. Ensure you are both comfortable with that person and go for it. You won't regret it! We certainly don't :D

Love you Andy. thanks for sharing :)

Love you all!
xoxo
Heidi.

First Dance

Hiiiiii Beautiful People,

Soooo what's happening? The wedding is 9 months away. Time, what is that? We have none!

House repairs are on the way, I'm working out, Andy's planning on working out, we are joining financial forces, learning more and more about each other, and I have to say I love this man so much! I would go through the planning process over and over again because Andy is truly so cool and easy about it. He takes everything as it comes, takes 2 hours to think, then he comes up with a plan. BOOM, that's my #baby.

We have to be honest. We are baffled as to why people find the wedding planning process SOOOO hard. The difficulty in OUR HUMBLE OPINIONS comes with indecision, uncertainty, allowing GIPSY people inna ya bidness and a lack of knowledge. I have assisted in Wedding Planning many times, have planned and with the help of a great team (delegation is key) executed EXCELLENT events. Andy has assisted in organising and pulling together many functions and in his and my line of work, planning is of the utmost importance. So this isn't cakewalk, but it sure ain't rocket science either. However, organisation, delegation and simplicity are the keys people. FOCUS!

The challenge so far has been PEOPLE. Everyday I mentally cross no less than four people off my list. And believe that dem bellies gine ROLL when they realize they are NOT in my top 100. #boom

Get lost!!

I am learning how to be a successful wife and partner. One of my focuses has to be on understanding my husband's role. That is monumental for me. For us really. I have had FANTASTIC examples of the correct way to treat, care for and support a wife. And a handful of wives who possess qualities I'd like to emulate. But can I say, I am going to have THE most understanding, loving and humble husband a woman could pray for. And you better get on your knees, cause I sure did and God blessed me with a gem.

Onto wedding thangs!!

WHAT IS UP WITH THE FIRST DANCE???!?!

Check out Youtube. There are funny ones, romantic, dramatic, bloopers, falling downers, Dive into poolers, madness, lack of rhythm, a plethora of the most ridiculous, sweet, endearing dances one will ever come across.

This was sooooo good! Hella funny!

Couple having #funners

So we are at a loss. Andy used to do ballroom, I did back in the day too buuuttttt. Without practice, we are NOT risking at it. So there's the slow wine, the twerk, the bump, monsta wina...... KIDDING!!

Have any of you taken dance lessons for your weddings/ big events? What do you think about it? Any recommendations, or should we just wing it and sway? We dunno, so HELP!!

Something old, something new... :

What do you think about this adage? I am NOT superstitious. But I love the idea of using the adage to add to the whimsy of our wedding. Like I have a special surprise for Andy and Andy only that's all blue ;) And I have another article of clothing that's blue. Did any of you follow this one, and if so, please share how. I notice most of Moden's brides only remember it on the day! LOL.

ooooh! Naughty! 

Since my dad passed away, I'm going to omit the Father-Daughter Dance., That would be way too heart-wrenching and sad for me. I miss him everyday, talk about him everyday, and on Wedding Day I want to honour his memory, my grandmother's and Andy's grandad who passed away earlier this year.

This video broke my heart. I would be waay tooo emotional for this one boy. But it was kind of sweet, thoughtful and helped to reinforce that although her daddy is gone, he can still be represented and celebrated. My friend @charmaine posted it, I watched it, and was a mess afterward.

Father/Daughter Dance :(  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/23/father-daughter-dance_n_1695774.html

I have to think of another way to honour my dad. My cuz Shernelle had a large, framed photo of her Mummy at her wedding and I thought that was an EXCELLENT gesture, very loving and inspirational. My Dad was larger than life, a real #bawse. Thought he was super cool, and he was so chatty and intelligent, but just like me, he could only tolerate people for so long .So in my case, the photo wouldn't fly. But a small one attached to my bouquet wouldn't be a bad idea. Or one of his old handkerchiefs. OR! He loved pens, we could sign our Marriage Certificate with one of his fountain pens!! Wow, that Just came to mind, AWESOME!

So tell me what you all think, your feedback is WELCOME and appreciated!

xoxo,
Heidi.