One Month Later

Gooooood Morning!!!

How is everyone?? 

Can you believe Anderson and Heidi have been married for four weeks??

He's asleep and i'm up and bouncing off the walls. 

Our honeymoon is far from over. Everyday we look at each other like, is this real? Did it happen? Our wedding was seriously THE best day of our lives. 

My husband (ahem). Wants us to share the photos over time. So sneak peeks today.

Let's talk about Wedding Day.

It was soooo much fun. God kept the rain in those clouds and sent the sun. And after we found out it was a tropical depression!! Thank you for allllll your prayers!!

The night before, Andy dropped me, my cousin Tiff, two of my bridesmaids Natalie and Tammy and my goddaughter Asia who was a flowergirl to the Hilton.

Yes! That's where our reception was!!! The staff there was so excited for us! We checked in, Andy took us up to the suite and then it was bye byes! I felt a little sad, when Andy had to leave, but excitement crept back in. Especially after he said see you tomorrow Mrs. Bowen. Soooo cute right??

Ffwd to the morning of! I was up from 4. Sorry, couldn't sleep anymore. Downstairs in the banquet hall with Natalie and my other bridesmaid Camille by 7 to start decorating. Andy's mum and my uncle and family soon arrived, and my cousin Shernelle who shooed me off to have breakfast! 

Well if you never had Hilton buffet? Chile get yo life. The wait staff kept asking you sure you getting married today? You are way too calm. And I was, the joy of the Lord was my strength!!

Here was my thinking, Andy will be there. So will Pastor, our parents and me. I control NOTHING. Let go and let God have His wonderful way. 

Simple.

After breakfast, got ready to make a mad dash to the hairdresser. Then I remembered... No car! 

My other mummy Auntie Yvette brought my bff and bridesmaid Tonya to the hotel, so Auntie dropped me over and then my other bff Tara brought me back. 

The salon was quiet and serene and my stylist asked when I arrived, so Heidz, how we doing this hair? I said Chimes, no clue. Just go for it and make sure it looks sleek and smooth. Boom!

2 hours later. I was in business...

Clip ins, hair spray and more bobby pins than #1 Beauty Supply could stock and Tara whisked me outta there, back to the Hilton. 

On my way back up to the room, my goddaughter Asia who went with me to get her hair done too seemed to realise I was getting jittery. Hear dis now, Auntie don't be shy, if you're brave, i'll be brave. And doan cry hear? Or not ya makeup gine run. 

I nearly died with laughter and truthfully allllll my fears just vanished. In the corridor leading to the room I met Shanelle... One half of I Heart Makeup. Yessss honey I was a heartbeat on wedding day! That was Nella's gift to me and so I asked her Kamilah and my friend Dee Blackett to do the makeup for the entire bridal party and some relatives of mine from England, Auntie Winsome and Maya and my Mummy.

So, by this time it was 1 pm. With the wedding at 3 pm. Definitely time to get ready. The girls were in makeup and I needed to shower and get Asia ready too. 

Nerves? None! Excitement PLENTY! My mummy, auntie who was my Maid of Honour and Nana were there. My godson Seth and his grandmother, everything was calm and peaceful. We were chatting and laughing and so relaxed. God is good...

It got real when I put my dress on. I was late :( In my defense I was ready to go, but we had a slight hiccup. So down to the lobby we went...

See Tammy like she sprinting??? Lol.

Into the limo, and off to the church...

We all got ready to get out of the car, cue flowergirls and ringbearer and bridesmaids and groomsmen.

My brother and my uncle walked me down the aisle. And there was my handsome groom.

Andy looked soooooo freakin good!! I was grinning like a halloween pumpkin. Super happy!!!

The ceremony was intimate and went by smoothly. Our friends and family were there and when we said our vows, we kept grinning at each other.

I did cry a little. I saw my godfather and I couldn't believe he had come, which reminded me of my Dad. Then the tears came.

We went to sign the certificate and that was it!!! 

Mr. & Mrs Anderson and Heidi Bowen, yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! More grins and happiness and fun!!

We headed out of the church after the FBC chorale sang our neww fave song Happy- Tasha Cobbs (remember?) and our bridal party cheered for us when we got in the limo. 

And then we headed to Central Bank Green for our mini photo shoot alone. Special thanks to Ms. Fran Wickham for granting us permission. Well ya know the Bajan peoples!! Waving and staring and we didn't care! 

We're married!!! 

Wow Photobooth Rentals made our evening!!! Service was excellent and all of our guests took home a strip of photos as their favour. It was kinda funny cause some people thought they had to pay. When they found out it was all part of the reception? Cray cray! We got some great shots!!

We also had a candy buffet, with indigenous sweets, like sugar cakes and nut cakes and black bitch, Quality Street sweets from the UK and US as well. I included some for our diabetic friends and relatives too! They really appreciated that!!

Three best parts of the day for me?

Seeing my uncle and aunt dancing.

Seeing my uncle Michael breakdance.

When Anderson said and to My Beautiful Wife, TWICE!!!

It was over in a flash, and we had a faaaaantastic time. Everything we wanted and prayed for? Happened. God blessed us richly, His grace was sufficient and He provided down to the last cent! 

Our families and friends enjoyed, and most importantly, my husband had a great time.

For your love and support, we are grateful. We cannot wait for the next chapter to begin. So stay tuned, God is at work right now!! 

We love you, keep praying for us as we are for you.

Xoxo 

The Bowens

Crunchtime, bridesmaids and the best husband to be ever

Goooood Morning!

If you follow me on Facebook, you would have seen my post about how good Jesus is. And I'm here to testify AGAIN He has already provided.

So Andy and I were presented with a test. It was major to me but for him, it was either a yes or a no. And in hindsight that is exactly what it was. But I have an extremely difficult time accepting no. God is teaching me that sometimes that no is a means of protection.

So Andy's enormous faith and nuff nuff nuff prayers from both of us and our families took us through this little challenge. And God granted us favour. So for all of you praying for us thank you and please continue!!

Onto the good stuff!! I chose the ladies of our bridal party with great care. I have been friends with 4 of them for over 17 years one of them for 7 and the other for 5. See where I'm going with this? Relationship is important. Knowing your worth is valuable. Long and short? 

Invest in people who have your best interest at heart. Trust the people who have always been there. I want to look back at our wedding album and see happy, smiling faces, with people we love, admire and appreciate. 

Well folks. Our wedding is next month. Colour me excited. Andy is still smiling. I'm happy. Ideas are flowing and I can reveal one tidbit. We are taking our photos in a brand spanking new location. Historic, and it is quite picturesque. 

The curator of this garden was thoroughly impressed i'm told when my mother spoke to her, the lady couldn't contain it. She indicated that people simply took advantage without seeking permission. I was adamant about asking. It is VERY important to know your place and ting de people lil garden doan belongs ta we.

In essence, being a bride is awesome. It's fun. It's exciting. It's a beautiful and fulfilling experience. And if you focus on the marriage, the life after the wedding and pay a leeeetle attention to the wedding. You would enjoy it too. Cause I'm telling you, people who go through this twice? Nuts! Mental craycray.

More soon. And the photos are going to be fab!

Everything about You...

This one is for Andy.

I am honoured, grateful, blessed and so happy that you chose me.

When we met, I promise you, it NEVER crossed my mind that we had even a prayer of being together. My radar was probably down at the time. But God had it all planned.

You're who I prayed for. You are the kindest, most generous, loving person. Your warmth and genuine love for people draws them to you. You are the heart of your home. I love to watch you with your friends, there's something so special about the love you have for them.  They truly are your family, you made it so.

Your love for God is beautiful, and authentic. Real.  Your dedication to your witness and ministry is what showed me that you were covered, chosen. Your service and commitment, that's what I want to be in my own.

I was strong willed, blunt and impatient. But sweet and vulnerable, so you said. And you saw through all of that mess. Your calm, peaceful spirit, rested with mine, and through Him, I am developing those same traits. No one is perfect.

You are the second thing I think about in the morning (Him first) and the first one I pray for at night. My life without you is unimaginable, but knowing you has blessed and enriched it beyond anything I ever expected or hoped for. Our love keeps me sane, happy, grounded. Everything about you is right. Most days... lol

This wedding, all of these plans it's all for us to enjoy one of THE best days we will ever have REGARDLESS of what happens, who's there, who's not.  But mostly, I'm doing it for you. You take care of me and have been from day one. Without being asked, without hesitation, without a deep breath. Of course not without frustration, I AM Heidi after all. Now it's time for me to take care of something, with just a little help from you.

There is no doubt in my mind, that He is at the head of this life we're enjoying. And with all of the prayers, love and blessings from our God, we are a success story, and we will continue to be. I am so proud of us, and so excited for our future. You make it all worth it. I love you.

Always,
Heidi.

Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr.. The Social Media Saga

Goood Morning!

I'm trying to keep up family!

It's not that I don't have anything to write about, it is that I'm trying to find the time.

So update:

It's gift list time!! Any suggestions on what we should get? When Dad died he left a house full of things, so all we need really are appliances and sheets etc. Still we want our own household items. But if there is ANYTHING you can think of that we might need that you had/ didn't get that you wished you had SHARE PLEASE!! I can tell you we are looking at Cave Shepherd/Sheperd (spell it wrong all the time), and Dwellings. Any other suggestions? Except Walker's World.

So the title may intrigue/confuse you. But this is something that I have been grappling with for the last few months. We have spoken about it briefly, Andy and I but as he was bringing me home last night I 1) realised I'm about to be a dude's wife, and 2) do we want to share that very intimate, private moment with the world?  you tend to forget things of this nature with big events like weddings.

Should we or shouldn't we allow people to upload photos from our wedding instantaneously. Andy had a friend who got married just at the beginning of the Facebook phenomenon. And in their invitations or on the programmes or somewhere they indicated that they did NOT want any photos uploaded.

Has social media caused us to over share? 

Given my status on Facebook and Instagram etc, I am inclined to say that I understand that move. Somethings are private. And the couple should be allowed to release their photos on their own terms. And I am leaning towards that too. Not just for privacy's sake, but also because we really want to share the memories with you all when we are ready.

I don't mind things like this, but Bajans and people on a whole rip your events to shreds when they get a glimpse of what you did! 

So what is your take on the social media thing? Should we tell our guests to leave it out til we give the go ahead? Or are you interested in a #aboabbowenwedding trend on the Internet??

Do we really want images like this traversing the highways and byways of social media?

Thoughts??

The Budding Bridezilla

Gooood Morning!

I promised to drop this one in last week. But I was sooooo busy that I forgot.

So sorry peeps!

Please note. This will happen to you at some point during your wedding prep.

As I've mentioned countless times. My fiance' is super cool under pressure. I on the other hand am a certified, card carrying gully boar. Now more recently I have developed a maturity and patience that surprises people who knew me just a few short years ago. It's amazing what prayer, patience, a good mama and a good decent man who influences me can do ;)

Now hear this, I want what I want. Andy wants what he wants. We have agreed to what WE want for our wedding. So there is no possible way for us to fail miserably. We believe that there are always alternatives. And with hard work, dedication and TRUE faith in God, we cannot be stopped, once it's His will for us.

Truth.

I had to make a quick decision about a crucial part of our plans. And note I said I, because I tend to think quickly. Not always a positive, but  I am well aware of who I'm marrying. You know that statue 'The Thinker'? That's really a sculpture of Anderson M. Bowen. He takes a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time to come to a decision once it involves risk. And believe me we need that. Little Miss Impulsive here would have us buying land and houses to renovate and forget the light bill. So someone has to be stable in the relationship.

Anderson M. Bowen (lololol)

But I also dislike INCOMPETENCE and WICKEDNESS. Here's the background without going into too much detail. One of our vendors has an associate who is greedy. He/she found out that we wanted to book a service through their company, and actually called me after the event that we both WORKED at, to try to convince me to come and make payment under his/her name. Here's the thing, I am loyal. We both are. Anderson and I were impressed with the presentation by the initial Vendor and have NO INTENTION of being poached.

This person moving in for the kill. But they don't know me yet!

Where is the integrity? Barbados is yay big. So screwing up your reputation for a commission is quite frankly a dumbass move. Furthermore, I do NOT like being crossed. Especially when it comes to an event I have been mentally planning since 1990.

So out came Heidi The Headhunter. I was on the phone so fast that Andy was in complete shock. Big man allowed me to know he had never seen that side of me in 6 years. And Poor me, I blushed. And then I got kisses so the blush went through the door :) I should be more forceful more often then huh?? (lolol) I suppose I was holding back that facet of my personality, because I want him to shine. I don't dumb down nor do I NORMALLY hold back. But I'm a softy when it comes to Andy and I let him take the reins. But this time, this witch (ahem) was messing with the wrong one.

This is mild compared to how I was.

Regardless of what happens, here's the lesson for today. If you have a dream, an idea, heck even a notion or a hunch. And it's feasible? GO FOR IT. Do not hold back. Make sure that it is in keeping with your values, no compromises. Things don't just HAPPEN. You must plan. Discuss with the older heads and go forward. Life is too short to live with regrets.  And I want little to NO regrets on Wedding Day 2014. TRUST.

enough said

Bridezilla for two days OUT!

Love you all,
Heidi xoxo

The gift of giving...

Lovebugs!!

I HAD to come at you with this one. It is big, HUGE, monumental. How good are you at ACCEPTING gifts?

I LOVE Christmas, birthdays, Easter, Independence, Crop Over, why don't we give gifts at Crop Over? Such fun :) You get me right? I love to give a gift. But I am not that great at receiving. Now a wise old owl once told me that, you should be just as comfortable receiving as giving, because there is a GREAT deal more humility involved in accepting something from someone. You may be unaware of their circumstance, financially or mentally, and whatever they give you whether they can afford it or not is a sacrifice and it takes a measure of generosity and love.

So, Andy and I have received offers from various family and extended family members to assist us with our Wedding,. A few of them in particular keep mentioning the 'harsh economic times' and their willingness to help us with paying for our home and the wedding itself. Cue the pride. Which as we ALL know goes before a fall. And we both find falling quite embarassing, soooooooooooooooo.

Anderson Bowen and Heidi Aboab, don't do receiving very well. It is not that we are arrogant, or puffed up ( although I lean to the arrogance every once in a while, I'm a work in progress). It is that we generally like to work for what we want or need, always have, and we are so used to being independent and taking care of ourselves, that accepting help from anyone but each other or our immediate families (mostly parents) is a foreign concept. And sometimes a little difficult, since we know we have to work for what we want.

We HATE using people. Have zero tolerance for begging, and we try very hard to stay within our means. Our sensitivity towards the subject is so great, that during our frequent car chats, we express how uncomfortable we are when friends pay for dinner, offer to bring things to a lime, family gives us cash or want to give us a thank you gift for something we have done.

BUT, weddings tend to make you a bit humble. At SOME point, you realise that you CANNOT do it all on your own. That people are just as excited for you as you were for them at this point in their lives. That your family and friends are ACUTELY aware that at times because you are sacrificing for your big day that you simply CANNOT out the money for a fun night out, movie, food. Because at $$$ a plate + drinks + VAT, you need to cut back somewhere.

Anderson and I declared our hand early. We are paying for our wedding and honeymoon ourselves, but we know that our friends and families will want to give us gifts. And we graciously and humbly accept. It is about give and take. If you know us, you know we are generous and at times OVERLY generous. Giving of our time, advice, money, in kind. God has blessed and favoured us by meeting all of our needs. We are secure knowing that He has already provided. And part of that means understanding when he has sent one of his angels to bless us, just like we blessed others.

I hope you understand what I mean. Of COURSE we want wedding gifts, that adds to the excitement and fun of the wedding experience, but we also want our family and friends to know that we are SO SO SO SO grateful. That you do not HAVE to do it, but we are APPRECIATIVE and thankful for everything that you do for us now, on wedding day and beyond.
We love you!

We are grateful!!

xoxo,
Anderson & Heidi.

Open the Lines

Gooood MORNING!!

Both Andy and I have been soooo busy!! I recently started a job (weddings don't pay for themselves guys :) And Andy has been working hard for the entire year. Between Moden Makeup by Heidi, my new job, home, church and our relationship, I was barely keeping up.

I am SOOOOOO sorry I didn't update you all but to everyone who asks in person, emails, Whatsapp's or keeps us in prayer THANK YOU!! We appreciate the feedback and the love.

Did the title catch you? Well I hope it did and whether you are married or single this one is for you.

So with the kind permission of my beloved fiance' we are going to discuss Premarital Counselling. Now for some people this practice is a formality, for others a necessity and a select few it is both. About three years before we got engaged, Andy actually asked me if I would be interested in preengagement counselling sessions. I was waaaay too excited boy! He could've asked me then and there and I would have said YAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS. But we never pursued it, so when we got engaged last year we decided that we needed to go to counselling for a number of reasons.

Guess who's coming to the end of their sessions and with GREAT SUCCESS. US!! And the main reason is, WE COMMUNICATE! Without going into too much detail we wanted to share why counselling is so important to us, and why we are now even bigger advocates for any engaged couple to actively participate in a series of sessions.

1. The Wedding is just one day. You have to live with this person for the rest of your life. That should be reason enough for you to run to anyone who is qualified and willing to listen!

Funny, but so true.

2. You value your relationship. Hopefully (we've been together 6 years, by the time we are married it would be our 7th) you would have invested, sacrificed, endured, enjoyed so much that you want to protect your investment, nurture your love and really get in the habit of dealing with the challenges of this new phase.

Channel your energies into your future.

3. You are willing to commit to discussing and solving any issues you may have as individuals and as a couple. You are two very different people with different stories, Rome wasn't built in a day, and you have to be secure in you and him/her so that your relationship develops as you BOTH intend it to.

Indeed.

4. It works either way. The counselling sessions reveal so much about your personality, your desires and your needs that the openness creates a vulnerability that is UNREAL. And the important part is recognising the value of your love, because opening up yourself to people starts with TRUST, without that, you're goners.

Love.

So those are just a few of our reasons. After the first session I was in love with Andy all over again. He was grinning from ear to ear and we both felt a sense of calm and peace. We are committed fully to one another, focused, and armed with the knowledge that we need to take our relationship forward and enjoy a happy and prosperous marriage. We don't know everything, but we know some thangs ya'll :)

Thus, the planning and merriment can continue, of course we will have issues, but we hold onto the belief that with God before us, a FULL commitment to each other, the love and support of our families, we are ready for our life together. If you are planning on getting married, we HUMBLY suggest finding a minister of religion, a certified counselor, or someone who is equipped to deal with affairs of the heart, premarital counselling. Seek professional help and OPEN THOSE LINES OF COMMUNICATION. Ensure you are both comfortable with that person and go for it. You won't regret it! We certainly don't :D

Love you Andy. thanks for sharing :)

Love you all!
xoxo
Heidi.

First Dance

Hiiiiii Beautiful People,

Soooo what's happening? The wedding is 9 months away. Time, what is that? We have none!

House repairs are on the way, I'm working out, Andy's planning on working out, we are joining financial forces, learning more and more about each other, and I have to say I love this man so much! I would go through the planning process over and over again because Andy is truly so cool and easy about it. He takes everything as it comes, takes 2 hours to think, then he comes up with a plan. BOOM, that's my #baby.

We have to be honest. We are baffled as to why people find the wedding planning process SOOOO hard. The difficulty in OUR HUMBLE OPINIONS comes with indecision, uncertainty, allowing GIPSY people inna ya bidness and a lack of knowledge. I have assisted in Wedding Planning many times, have planned and with the help of a great team (delegation is key) executed EXCELLENT events. Andy has assisted in organising and pulling together many functions and in his and my line of work, planning is of the utmost importance. So this isn't cakewalk, but it sure ain't rocket science either. However, organisation, delegation and simplicity are the keys people. FOCUS!

The challenge so far has been PEOPLE. Everyday I mentally cross no less than four people off my list. And believe that dem bellies gine ROLL when they realize they are NOT in my top 100. #boom

Get lost!!

I am learning how to be a successful wife and partner. One of my focuses has to be on understanding my husband's role. That is monumental for me. For us really. I have had FANTASTIC examples of the correct way to treat, care for and support a wife. And a handful of wives who possess qualities I'd like to emulate. But can I say, I am going to have THE most understanding, loving and humble husband a woman could pray for. And you better get on your knees, cause I sure did and God blessed me with a gem.

Onto wedding thangs!!

WHAT IS UP WITH THE FIRST DANCE???!?!

Check out Youtube. There are funny ones, romantic, dramatic, bloopers, falling downers, Dive into poolers, madness, lack of rhythm, a plethora of the most ridiculous, sweet, endearing dances one will ever come across.

This was sooooo good! Hella funny!

Couple having #funners

So we are at a loss. Andy used to do ballroom, I did back in the day too buuuttttt. Without practice, we are NOT risking at it. So there's the slow wine, the twerk, the bump, monsta wina...... KIDDING!!

Have any of you taken dance lessons for your weddings/ big events? What do you think about it? Any recommendations, or should we just wing it and sway? We dunno, so HELP!!

Something old, something new... :

What do you think about this adage? I am NOT superstitious. But I love the idea of using the adage to add to the whimsy of our wedding. Like I have a special surprise for Andy and Andy only that's all blue ;) And I have another article of clothing that's blue. Did any of you follow this one, and if so, please share how. I notice most of Moden's brides only remember it on the day! LOL.

ooooh! Naughty! 

Since my dad passed away, I'm going to omit the Father-Daughter Dance., That would be way too heart-wrenching and sad for me. I miss him everyday, talk about him everyday, and on Wedding Day I want to honour his memory, my grandmother's and Andy's grandad who passed away earlier this year.

This video broke my heart. I would be waay tooo emotional for this one boy. But it was kind of sweet, thoughtful and helped to reinforce that although her daddy is gone, he can still be represented and celebrated. My friend @charmaine posted it, I watched it, and was a mess afterward.

Father/Daughter Dance :(  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/23/father-daughter-dance_n_1695774.html

I have to think of another way to honour my dad. My cuz Shernelle had a large, framed photo of her Mummy at her wedding and I thought that was an EXCELLENT gesture, very loving and inspirational. My Dad was larger than life, a real #bawse. Thought he was super cool, and he was so chatty and intelligent, but just like me, he could only tolerate people for so long .So in my case, the photo wouldn't fly. But a small one attached to my bouquet wouldn't be a bad idea. Or one of his old handkerchiefs. OR! He loved pens, we could sign our Marriage Certificate with one of his fountain pens!! Wow, that Just came to mind, AWESOME!

So tell me what you all think, your feedback is WELCOME and appreciated!

xoxo,
Heidi.