The gift of giving...

Lovebugs!!

I HAD to come at you with this one. It is big, HUGE, monumental. How good are you at ACCEPTING gifts?

I LOVE Christmas, birthdays, Easter, Independence, Crop Over, why don't we give gifts at Crop Over? Such fun :) You get me right? I love to give a gift. But I am not that great at receiving. Now a wise old owl once told me that, you should be just as comfortable receiving as giving, because there is a GREAT deal more humility involved in accepting something from someone. You may be unaware of their circumstance, financially or mentally, and whatever they give you whether they can afford it or not is a sacrifice and it takes a measure of generosity and love.

So, Andy and I have received offers from various family and extended family members to assist us with our Wedding,. A few of them in particular keep mentioning the 'harsh economic times' and their willingness to help us with paying for our home and the wedding itself. Cue the pride. Which as we ALL know goes before a fall. And we both find falling quite embarassing, soooooooooooooooo.

Anderson Bowen and Heidi Aboab, don't do receiving very well. It is not that we are arrogant, or puffed up ( although I lean to the arrogance every once in a while, I'm a work in progress). It is that we generally like to work for what we want or need, always have, and we are so used to being independent and taking care of ourselves, that accepting help from anyone but each other or our immediate families (mostly parents) is a foreign concept. And sometimes a little difficult, since we know we have to work for what we want.

We HATE using people. Have zero tolerance for begging, and we try very hard to stay within our means. Our sensitivity towards the subject is so great, that during our frequent car chats, we express how uncomfortable we are when friends pay for dinner, offer to bring things to a lime, family gives us cash or want to give us a thank you gift for something we have done.

BUT, weddings tend to make you a bit humble. At SOME point, you realise that you CANNOT do it all on your own. That people are just as excited for you as you were for them at this point in their lives. That your family and friends are ACUTELY aware that at times because you are sacrificing for your big day that you simply CANNOT out the money for a fun night out, movie, food. Because at $$$ a plate + drinks + VAT, you need to cut back somewhere.

Anderson and I declared our hand early. We are paying for our wedding and honeymoon ourselves, but we know that our friends and families will want to give us gifts. And we graciously and humbly accept. It is about give and take. If you know us, you know we are generous and at times OVERLY generous. Giving of our time, advice, money, in kind. God has blessed and favoured us by meeting all of our needs. We are secure knowing that He has already provided. And part of that means understanding when he has sent one of his angels to bless us, just like we blessed others.

I hope you understand what I mean. Of COURSE we want wedding gifts, that adds to the excitement and fun of the wedding experience, but we also want our family and friends to know that we are SO SO SO SO grateful. That you do not HAVE to do it, but we are APPRECIATIVE and thankful for everything that you do for us now, on wedding day and beyond.
We love you!

We are grateful!!

xoxo,
Anderson & Heidi.

Open the Lines

Gooood MORNING!!

Both Andy and I have been soooo busy!! I recently started a job (weddings don't pay for themselves guys :) And Andy has been working hard for the entire year. Between Moden Makeup by Heidi, my new job, home, church and our relationship, I was barely keeping up.

I am SOOOOOO sorry I didn't update you all but to everyone who asks in person, emails, Whatsapp's or keeps us in prayer THANK YOU!! We appreciate the feedback and the love.

Did the title catch you? Well I hope it did and whether you are married or single this one is for you.

So with the kind permission of my beloved fiance' we are going to discuss Premarital Counselling. Now for some people this practice is a formality, for others a necessity and a select few it is both. About three years before we got engaged, Andy actually asked me if I would be interested in preengagement counselling sessions. I was waaaay too excited boy! He could've asked me then and there and I would have said YAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS. But we never pursued it, so when we got engaged last year we decided that we needed to go to counselling for a number of reasons.

Guess who's coming to the end of their sessions and with GREAT SUCCESS. US!! And the main reason is, WE COMMUNICATE! Without going into too much detail we wanted to share why counselling is so important to us, and why we are now even bigger advocates for any engaged couple to actively participate in a series of sessions.

1. The Wedding is just one day. You have to live with this person for the rest of your life. That should be reason enough for you to run to anyone who is qualified and willing to listen!

Funny, but so true.

2. You value your relationship. Hopefully (we've been together 6 years, by the time we are married it would be our 7th) you would have invested, sacrificed, endured, enjoyed so much that you want to protect your investment, nurture your love and really get in the habit of dealing with the challenges of this new phase.

Channel your energies into your future.

3. You are willing to commit to discussing and solving any issues you may have as individuals and as a couple. You are two very different people with different stories, Rome wasn't built in a day, and you have to be secure in you and him/her so that your relationship develops as you BOTH intend it to.

Indeed.

4. It works either way. The counselling sessions reveal so much about your personality, your desires and your needs that the openness creates a vulnerability that is UNREAL. And the important part is recognising the value of your love, because opening up yourself to people starts with TRUST, without that, you're goners.

Love.

So those are just a few of our reasons. After the first session I was in love with Andy all over again. He was grinning from ear to ear and we both felt a sense of calm and peace. We are committed fully to one another, focused, and armed with the knowledge that we need to take our relationship forward and enjoy a happy and prosperous marriage. We don't know everything, but we know some thangs ya'll :)

Thus, the planning and merriment can continue, of course we will have issues, but we hold onto the belief that with God before us, a FULL commitment to each other, the love and support of our families, we are ready for our life together. If you are planning on getting married, we HUMBLY suggest finding a minister of religion, a certified counselor, or someone who is equipped to deal with affairs of the heart, premarital counselling. Seek professional help and OPEN THOSE LINES OF COMMUNICATION. Ensure you are both comfortable with that person and go for it. You won't regret it! We certainly don't :D

Love you Andy. thanks for sharing :)

Love you all!
xoxo
Heidi.