Gift List or MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY!?!??!

Ladies and Gents!!! How have you been?? Sorry for missing posts! I was unwell :(  This week you get two updates. Hope this one doesn't offend anyone, all opinions are OUR own!

Let's just clear the air, No I am NOT pregnant, even though I got asked the question several times over the last week, apparently I've gained weight (eyes rollin so hard I'm getting a migraine (makes the recent weight LOSS scales and clothes DON'T lie - a bit anticlimactic to be frank lol). 

Soooooooooooooooo, the title is self explanatory and here are Andy and my thoughts on this.

When we decided to get married, we pretty much had a lot of ground work covered. Except the colours, potential budget and where EXACTLY we would live. WE also knew that we could NOT invite everyone, so we decided to come up with an idea to include all of our loved ones both biological and chosen to make our days happy! 

So as you know,  This is OUR day, we decide what we want and we move from there. One thing that I am adamant about is ensuring that we have everything we ever wanted and can AFFORD on the day and the days leading up to our wedding. At this point, we know what we have to do to be able to enjoy the day comfortably and still LIVE comfortably in the months after. 

Can make you or truly break you! 

For Andy and Heidi, this is OUR day, OUR party and I am stating this right here right now I PERSONALLY think regardless of etiquette or what is socially acceptable. HEIDI THINKS It is SUPER rude to ask for money ALONE. I'm sorry, but why not provide an option for your guests that's affordable for them? Who's wedding is it anyway? Why should you, after inviting your guests to YOUR event pretty much tell them you want them to pay for their plate. 

Who decided to get married? US. Who's making MOST of the decisions? US, who should foot the bill PRIMARILY? US! Just saying...

You decided to get married, you pay for it!

This is NOT to say that we will not be accepting monetary gifts. We're not stupid, we will accept WHATEVER you give us,within reason, because that's the thing, we are GRATEFUL. You give us a can opener and we'll be happy. But times HARD and everybody is crying out. So we want to be thoughtful and sensitive. 

A stack from each guest would be HEAVEN SENT, but that's soooo unrealistic! (Photo by: Alan Levine)

Check it, you impose a monetary gift ONLY clause. BOOM, you get 10 envelopes from your alll of your 150 guests. Well don't get mad if one of the 10 drops a HEAVY $20 bill in the envelope and says God Bless. Maybe even $5, wha ya dun ask for the money ya can't very well tell the people how much to give you. Yes there are guest guidelines to indicate exactly what amounts are 'ACCEPTABLE' but shouldn't that depend on your guests' pocket? And do you know? Someone is still going to buy you a waffle iron, clothes basket, pots and pans. So you might as well do the gift list option too, no? 

It's raining dollar bills ya'll!

We got some advice from one of our new friends @Alison Biscette-Glasgow 'Enjoy it, and my own tip: Know when too many cooks spoil the broth and when they don't. And listen to both your hearts at the end of the day.'  

So our hearts say, give the people at least two options, YES YES YES we will accept ANY monies you give us (except Zimbabwean Dollars or Russian rubles LOL) BUT we would be EXTREMELY grateful for a nice gift as well. SO Cave Shepherd here we come, one stop shop, not too many expensive items and we pray that our guests see it fit to give us some lovely prezzies cause you love us so so much! But is it your duty to? Honestly I can't say we think that, nobody owes you anything in this life, but it sure is great to receive! 

Phew, that one was a little tricky. One of my favourite Youtubers recently got married and she provided info for her subscribers to send her and her intended gifts. I don't know why but I thought that was a bit much. Although knowing the crazy Americans, they feel like she's their 'friend' and wanted to express the shared joy. So they probably ASKED where she was registered. This one is definitely a to each his own situation. And this is where we stand. You are FREE to do either or and if our guests can't afford either, please TELL US! Do NOT be embarassed, a card will do. But if wunna lie and say wunna can't and ya can, well that's just not right! LOLOL

Coming up next, the expensive add-ons that we (people in general) just HAVE TO HAVE!

Love,
Heidi xoxo

Should in-laws be outlawed?

Hiii friends!

Did I neglect to mention that Andy and I have almost one year before our wedding. Instant sweat scene.

So right off the bat, I will weigh in on Monday and so we'll see how much I've lost (or gained :(). I will say that my Auntie and I had a strenuous zumba session yesterday after the squats I did this week nearly took my life. Or at the very least my dignity when ascending or descending stairs!

Onto the juice, the meat! The inlaws. How do you deal?

Well given that we haven't revealed the intimate details of our day to either side, i'd say that The Aboabs and Bowens and extended family are equal in knowledge.

We've clued in our mothers and a few friends about some big plans we have to make the days and big day exciting, but most of the pressure is coming from our extended family and friends.

If you are reading this and you know you're not guilty, read on. If you are, read faster.

The running joke in Andy's fam is that i've only got one ring... So far. But I took it in my stride. My extended family had taken to trying to get to know Andy better. Suddenly, the enigma that is my babe is interesting and going to be a part of our family 'officially' and they want to come to the wedding too so of course some are making extra effort. No shame!

Well just this week, I read a blog that proved my theory. This bride noted that people she hadn't seen or heard for yeaaaaars, 'befriended' her on Facebook, called, texted, tweeted, CAME to her house. The lengths they'd go to.

But my family is special, when they see Andy, they smile and say hi, then ask me a week later, where he's work again? And wha he's do?

My point? You never know where a relationship could go, embrace the family member's new person. Be happy for them. Without ulterior motives.

So weddings are huge because generally people want somewhere to go, get free food and all about it after. So, we are going to make the wedding alllll about us! All Andy and Heidi everything, placemats, photos, billboards, stickers, if the flowerrls petals can hold a picture they will!

What I love about our families? We were both accepted! Andy dodged the interrogation, critique slash verbal hazing my fam puts most dudes and gals thru on first meeting. My family swears up and down to do it before wedding day. Hilarious!

The questions about the wedding have been peppering us since January! Any crashers, will be sorry. Guaranteed!
I have some verrry dread friends.
Nosy, outrageous statements like, doan go and get no babies as soon as yuh married. How he gine manage widout de mudda? Wunna gettin a mortgage?
When wunna gettin married? Suh long? Where? I hope at ... You invitin so n so? Wha I aint bout dat. I aint comin den.

Then there are the serious hardcore nosy questions. Who gi'in you way? Ya dress betta hol in dem big tings ya got! Andy family comin? From over in a way? How much people ya havin? Wunna got a house yet? Wait! I aint get muh invitation yet, u mussee aint want me dey.

Lord i'm being tried and tested!

Ahh well, I suppose every couple endures it. Have we ever done it to others? Not maliciously. Just out of curiosity and concern. But Andy and I are really family people and regardless of their quirks and weirdness, aint nuthin like family!

I think the biggest peeve we have is people asking us why we are waiting so long. Well wunna want the answer? Because we want to! We want an organized Debt FREE event, our way!
Happy, fun and peaceful without bailiffs or final notices three months after. I think that sums it up!

Moral: Leave the couple to their own devices. Unsolicited advice is not always welcome. But, it depends on the couple. Andy and I promise to be kind. Whatever your feelings remember, ever so welcome wait for a call!

Love
Heidi xoxo